this seems like the perfect time to really dive in and be serious about my 30 day self-discipline project! while everyone is in distress and damn near isolating (i still have to work); i am going to take this opportunity to write and try to bring people some joy and also disciplining myself enough to sit down and give myself however long it takes to answer a question every day honestly to share.
i am excited and inspired right now, this is great. my son is sitting next to me because school is out. he is coloring and really focusing on staying in the lines and making it look “pretty” (because a monster truck can be pretty, right?) lol my boyfriend is downstairs, probably thinking i should be the one putting the dishes up and juggling his work phone. with the covid-19 chaos, they advised him to work from home, and to some-how video chat his conference calls. — im thinking at least we have jobs, at least we have more than enough for if we were quarantined for 2 weeks in our home.
we have everything we need. and maybe that is why i feel inspired right now, because amidst the chaos outside my house: inside these walls, i have everything i need. i have everything i have ever wanted. this is our safe place. and i find soooo much comfort in that. so much so i feel like just opening up about it. i feel able to release- i know not to take this for granted. my family knows how thankful i am daily.
my question for myself today is: what is one thing in your life you cant make a decision on?
my answer to that, at this moment in my life, is going back to school. i know i want to, i know i need to, i know there are many ways to get it done, but i cannot make the commitment to which school, which career path, how far do i want to go? i ask myself what is realistic in that aspect? how far can i go- what does this look like. i am bouncing between Physician Assistant, Nurse Practitioner, or a Diagnostic Medicine Sonographer. The last one would take the least amount of time, but the other two definitely make more money. (they also require more school which also costs more). I do know that, right now, my heart wants to get back into Pediatric Cardiology, but i want a different title. i want to be able to provide more, to be more equal with John, to have more education. That brings you confidence in and of itself- knowledge is power, and it is beautiful and respectable.
i will continue to pray and meditate on these thoughts and ideas and the answer will come, and the time will be right. when you know you know. i also will not sit and wait to see what happens. I will be disciplined and motivated enough to make time, to make the opportunities, and watch how the beauty of God’s plan for my life unfolds